Iris
by Andrejia
Summary: It wasn't the time and it wasn't the place. Set in Season 11. Luka goes home to spend Christmas with Sam and Alex the First while Abby is stuck at the hospital.It’s so easy to write bad things happening to Luka...he’s like a magnet!
1. Make Believe

**Author's Note**: This was developed as a Christmas challenge for TDWD's fanfic competition. It should've been an one-shot but I just started rambling. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language, so although I checked for mistakes I might've missed some. I do love reviews, specially critical ones.

I tried to keep them in-character and write something believable, although I tend to write most for Luka, since I feel I know him pretty well. So, R&R – the scenario, the writing…whatever you may find badly written. And for the first time, I tried to fix my dialogues. Oh…it's a bit corny on the Christmas stuff like whole Santa plot.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Abby, Sam, Alex, the E.R. staff and, as much as it kills me to say this, I don't own Luka either. They belong to NBC.

_Many thanks to my best friend who took 10 minutes of her precious sitting around time to read the first chapter!_

The title is a song by Goo Goo Dolls that says somewhere among the lines "I just want you to know who I am".

**Iris**

_It's my first Christmas with Sam and __Alex,_ he said grinning…_Alex is really excited…_

_Alex or you_? She really knew him better than anyone, better than the woman he's spent more than a year chasing after, better than he knew.

_You sure you don't mind?_

Of course she didn't mind. She didn't. She did. She just wasn't going to let them know. Let anyone know. It's not like she had things to do, people to be around; it was just another day and she somehow felt glad that she was renting her services during the holidays to let people who actually had a better place to go enjoy themselves. And for the first time in a vey long while, Luka had someone to go home to. And she was happy for him.

* * *

_"If you don't mind me saying, you look like hell"._

_Cleo spotted him walking slowly, heading towards __admit__ to pick up another chart. His eyes had that reddish color they get when you don't get enough sleep and drink buckets of coffee._

_"Yeah, I'm in the middle of a double shift, he said as he ran his hand over his eyes, in a gesture that he hoped it will take away some of the exhaustion." _

_"You got the short end of the stick?"_

_"No…I volunteered. Figured I'd let people spend some time with their families."_

* * *

She was so much like him. She didn't volunteer, though, but she didn't make a big case out of it when Ray asked her to switch shifts so that he can be with his "mother" on Christmas Eve. He knew that…he knew that for her, this would be just like any other day, just like it was for him for all those years. Only this time, he had somewhere to go and she didn't. But she was happy. She was happier than any other times he'd seen her. Happier than when she was with Carter, happier than she was when she was alone. She was everything he wanted for her: a doctor. 

So he did it. He picked up his coat, signed off to her, ignored Chen's pleading to cover her shift and went home.

_Aleeeex!_

This apartment wasn't that big. Why did she have to yell everytime?

He sighted, closed the door behind them and threw the keys on the counter. He was at his apartment; he finally made them move in with him. No. Why would he think like that? It wasn't _his _apartment anymore. It was _theirs_. And they didn't just move in. They came home. Yes. That's a better thought. He was home. He should just stick to that.

_Alex! Will you just come down already?_ Her tone switched from impatience to a slightly angry one.

_I think he's just writing his letter to Santa_, he said, while folding her in his arms from behind, with a big grin on his face.

She didn't even seem to be aware of it, since she instantly released herself from his embrace.

_A letter to Santa?__ She smirked. He's eleven, Luka. He stopped believing in Santa about six years ago._

_Soooo?__ I knew that he wasn't real but it didn't stop me and my brother…_

Now she was facing him, with a very curious look on her face.

_Your brother?__ You have a brother? _She arched her eyebrows and lifted her head to get a better look at him.

_Yeah, _he said while heading for the couch. _We….we don't talk much these days._

_So, there are more like you, huh? Great to know that if you don't rise to the challenge anymore…_

_Rise to the challenge? _She was flirting now and he was more than happy to flirt back…

_Yeah…__cause__ if you don't…then I guess I can find myself another hot Croat…_

_Oh…he really doesn't speak English that good…_

_And you think I'm with you for your language skills? _She softly kissed him as he continued grinning. Somehow he felt like she was taking care of two kids…but he didn't mind letting her take charge…all the time…

_You don't even have mistletoe, you know that right? _Alex was heading for the presents under the tree as he tried his best not to watch his mom and Luka all over each other.

_How do you know about mistletoe? _she asked as she gave a big kiss on the top of her kid's head.

_What? You think I'm stupid? _he sits under the big Christmas tree, measuring up the big boxes. _Which one do I get to open tonight?_

_Hmmmm__…let's see…_she kneeled down beside him and tried to help him pick one. _How about…What's this? _She spotted a big box, wrapped in blue paper, a box she didn't remember buying.

_It's…It's...__I know we didn't quite talk about it, but I just saw it a few days ago and…_,Luka started going, somehow sheepishly.

_Oh, cool. I want this one! _The boy was more than excited.

He took the big box and started unwrapping it, driven by both curiosity and desire. Sam was reluctant, looking somehow mad at Luka, while he just sat there, watching them, smiling.

_Wow! This is great! _Alex was more than pleased. A real guitar, a new one, big and more than beautiful.

_I…maybe…if your mom agrees, of course, we can take you to some lessons, learn how to play it and …umm…all._

She got up to face him, obviously upset.

_Luka, this really wasn't…_

_Look, _he said as he put both his arms on her shoulders, _it really wasn't that expensive and I wanted him to have something…from me._

_I think you've really done more than enough. I thought we agreed to get him everything together. I know my kid and I don't want you to spoil him. He already thinks you're his buddy in crimes so…_

_I'm not trying to turn him against you or anything. I just got him something that I thought would make him happy._

She crossed her arms and frowned.

Alex was already playing with it. Seeing the joy in the boy's eyes was worth any fight Sam was going to pick as soon as he was off to bed. He stood up and gave Luka the biggest hug he ever did. He kept going on and on how great this is, how this was the best Christmas ever, how much of a great guy Luka really was. Then, he took the guitar and headed upstairs.

She watched Alex jumping up and down the stairs, already picturing himself a rock legend, probably. _I just think you went a little too far. At least tell me how much it was and I'll give you half._

_Sam…_

He never got a chance to finish his thoughts. A knock at the door, and the whole conversation was left in the air. She turned around, surprised.

_I hope that's not some rock idol you hired to teach him play that thing! _It was supposed to be a joke but her tone was angry rather than amused.

She opened the door and froze.

_How did you enter the building?_

_A guy let me in._

Luka recognized the voice. All too well.

He approached the opened door. This time he was angry.

_What are you doing here, Steve?_

_Can I come in?_

_No. _His answer was short and left no room for discussion.

_Look, I just want to see my kid on Christmas Eve. I brought him something. Sammy, come on…he's my kid._

As much as she hated this, he was right. It was his kid. He was his father. And for Alex's sake…she was going to let him stay…just for a few hours.

_Dad?_Alex stood up at the top of the stairs as he heard his father's voice.

He came down so fast, that if you didn't know better, you'd think he flew over the stairs. He was holding the guitar Luka gave but threw it on the couch without even looking at it on his way to give his father a hug. Steve picked him up and Alex held on to his neck so tight that he left his dad breathless for a second.

* * *

He was standing by the window, looking at the tree. The wrapping from the box the guitar was in was still lying on the floor. He lifted his gaze and looked at _them_. In _his_ apartment, on _his_ couch, with _his_ present. Steve was showing Alex how to use it. He took the guitar and started playing a stupid song that made his stomach turn with every touch of a chord. He was watching them full of anger, angry that this kid was so happy to be around him that he was willing to forget all the years he hadn't even received a letter from him, angry that the woman he was supposed to caress to sleep by now was looking with adoration as her boy was lost in his world, angry that it was supposed to be him there. But the anger soon turned into sadness and sadness turned into pain.

* * *

__

__

_"Christmas…It's not what it's supposed to be anyway". _

_He stood up while Susan continued to patch him. Still…he didn't face her. _

_"No"? she asked surprised little by his sudden confidence in her. _

_"Back home was different. We took the kids sleigh riding, cut our own tree. My…wife made fish the night before then turkey for the Christmas Day". _

_She smiled ,slightly embarrassed ".Sounds perfect". _

_"Yeah", he whispered._

_

* * *

_

They were never his. He gave them everything and the most precious gift he ever could give: himself. And still they didn't care. His gift made them happy, just not in the way he thought it would. It was just another thing money could buy. He was providing the only thing they really needed from him: material things.

He was the outsider. They were a family. No matter how dysfunctional, they were. And he didn't belong there. He was just the boyfriend, the owner of the apartment, the provider. He passed them without even trying to look at them. He grabbed his coat and opened the door.

_I…I got paged from County. I'll be back soon. _But he was the only one that heard that. He looked at them one more time and tilted his head.

They didn't even notice that he was gone.

He got to his car, turned on the radio and closed his eyes. Where was he supposed to go now? It was his damn house and he was the one who left. County didn't want him, either. He lied. He just needed an excuse not to appear so pathetic in his way out. But the truth is, County always needed him.


	2. Ashes to Ashes

**Chapter 2**** Ashes to Ashes**

**Author's Note:** I hate stereotypes like Frank is always eating, Morris is the clown and so on. But somehow, I just can't find anything else for them to do! So, I apologize in advance.

_I'm not eating this!_

_Just take a bite, it won't kill you. _Frank was being more irritating than ever.

_I still don't get it, _she said as she was trying to make excuses for herself not to eat any of the cake from this year's Christmas party, _if I'll have some, then you'll have less!_

_Isn't Christmas about sharing? _the old grumpy clerk wasn't going to let her off the hook so easily.

Abby rolled her eyes and grabbed a plastic spoon. She didn't take the plate with the big piece of cake from Frank's hand, but instead she just took a spoonful of the dessert.

_Mmmmm__…Yummy…_She then threw the spoon and grabbed another chart.

_You're not gonna have more?_ Frank was more than surprised at her passing his offer.

_Nope…all full._

_You want this saved for later?_

_All yours, Frank!_

Hey, he tried, right? So she didn't want more. That wasn't a good enough reason to let a perfect piece of cake go to waste. He helped himself with a spoon, rambling about how he was missing Christmas with his family so he really should have at least enjoy the instant party Susan threw at admit for everyone who had to work this night.

The E.R. was unrecognizable: a big Christmas tree in the middle of triage, decorations everywhere, not as many patients as always and people making small talk. A small party for those who had no party to go to. At least this year, they didn't have carol stingers singing off key. Just a small CD player with Christmas songs.

Abby walked into Curtain Area 2, eyes locked on the chart she was holding.

_So….__Mr__….Mr. __Kringle_she blinked a few time in disbelief.

_Call me Kris._

Her new patient was a rather large man, dressed in a dirty Santa suit, with his beard almost unstuck from his chin. He didn't seem homeless, although he looked like one.

_Ok…Kris, _she started, letting out a breath. _What seems to be the problem?_

_I've been naughty_, the man responded , slightly amused.

_Oh. Don't worry. Since you apparently are…umm…Santa__..and…__all…I think you'll off the hook this year. _She starts reading from her chart. _It says here that you are having some chest pain._

_It says so, really? Well, Dr. Lockhart, it's not chest pain, it's a heart ache. _

_Does it come and go or is it more like…._

_No, _he interrupts her, _it's because I've done some bad things._

It was Christmas Eve and this guy seemed pretty decent. He wasn't drunk so it was a good start. But she was somehow losing her patience.

She holds out her stethoscope and starts examining him.

_What kind of bad things?_

_I messed up some presents. __Gave the ones that didn't deserve something good and with that – since it has to be fair – took something from the ones that really needed it._

_That's OK. You still have until midnight to put things back to normal._ She started playing his game. _It's not over until then, right? It won't be Christmas before twelve so I guess you still have…a full hour._

_Yeah, but how am I going to do something right, something that's meant to be if I'm sitting in this damned hospital bed not able to even move?_

_Well…we should fix that soon. Don't worry. _She was just being sympathetic. It was something about this guy that gave her a funny feeling. She felt…warm…and safe. _Haleh, could you hook Mr. Kringle to a cardiac monitor?_

_You could hook me to anything you like, dear. But the truth is, if I don't get a miracle by midnight I'm not sure I'll be here for turkey tomorrow morning._

_We'll just see what we can do about that. Nobody should miss Christmas morning, _she said as she turned around to leave the room.

She suddenly turned around, like she forgot something.

_Umm…how did you know my name?_

_I know everyone's name, _he answered smirking.

_Oh…I see._

_Yeah, _he continued. _Besides, it was written on your ID badge._

Abby smiled and left, writing her chart as she was walking towards admit. Her eyes were fixed on her notes and she didn't even notice Luka until they nearly run into each other.

_Oh, sorry, _he said as he grabbed her arms before they collide.

_Luka?__ What are you doing here?_ She was more than surprised to find him returning at work.

_Umm…Sam…_he was looking around, not wanting to meet her gaze. _I…Susan paged me._

_Oh…really? I thought we were handling it._

_Yeah, so did __I__. I'm gonna change. You need to present?_

_Umm…yeah…whenever you're ready._

He headed towards the lounge, hoping that he'll get through this fast, without anyone noticing that he's there. He didn't want to explain anything to anyone. All they knew was that he was having a quiet, happy Christmas Eve, with lots of presents and eggnog. And it was more than they needed to know. He wanted to lose himself in work, to find peace again for a few hours. Until _he _was gone.

_What happened?_ He started running towards the Trauma Room, as Haleh was trying to tell him about the patient.

_He had a heart attack,_ Abby told him as he entered the room. _We got him back but he's still not stable enough to be moved to Cardiology._

_You paged __Kayson_

_He's not on tonight. A resident should come down here soon enough._

She put the paddles down and pursed her lips. _I should've monitored him more closely. _

_He has a history of heart disease?_ He took the chart from her hand and started verifying it.

_He didn't say anything, _she answered somehow defending herself.

_This guy needs someone from Cardiology to come down here fast. _Luka was mad. Not because he didn't think that the guy got the best possible care, but because he wasn't feeling up to letting someone die tonight.

_How long has he been here?_

_It's…11:43 so that makes it…..almost three hours. I saw him about an hour ago and he didn't seem that sick. He was just complaining of heart aches._

_He was experiencing severe chest pain_he said as he turned to face her.

_Um…No…_,she stuttered. _He said his heart was aching and it will all go away if by midnight if…umm…_

Luka was taken aback by this.

_You called psyche on this guy?_

_Umm…no…_

_Cardiology on line 1, _Haleh interrupted her, holding the phone up.

They agreed they could move him, after all. Nobody would want to come down so they had to take him there. Luka decided to come along, since he couldn't let her alone with the guy. The pressure would've been too much and surely she would blame herself if anything would go wrong.

They got out of the elevator and asked the nurse at admit which room was open to "park" this guy in. The department was full, but they managed to find him a monitored bed until one of the Attendings could see him.

Mr. Kringle was wearing a hospital gown now and with him, on the gurney, stood a small brown bag, that now had his suit in.

_Does he have any IDs? _the nurse asked.

_He said his name is Kris Kringle, he filled a form in Triage, _Abby answered.

_Nothing to tell us how to locate any family?_

_No…just…this,_ she continued, as she pointed to the bag.

Luka and Abby were standing face to face now, each on the other side of the bed. The nurse took the bag and opened it. The Santa suit, a dirty boot, the fake beard…everything was in that thing except anything that might give them a hint about who he really was.

_Hey…what's this? _the nurse said, as she started going through the bag, like she just found something.

_Mistletoe_Luka was beginning to be more and more surprised by this guy. _I thought Santa only gave presents._

_You want this? We don't even have decorations here. And I heard about the party downstairs._

_Party?_Abby snorted. _More like an eating contest. You can have it. We have plenty in the E.R._

The nurse turned around and left the room and after a few more minutes, so did Luka and Abby. As they were heading towards the elevator, they heard her calling them back.

_Hey, you forgot to sign him off to our department._

_Oh__..right_

He was signing the chart while she was waiting next to him. The nurse started laughing softly while looking at them.

_Oh-oh…._

_What? _Luka said confused.

_Look up! That thing hasn't been up here five minutes and already started making victims, _she chuckled.

They actually were standing right under the mistletoe the nurse got from the "Santa's" bag. She somehow managed to hook it to a neon on the ceiling.

_Now you've __gotta__ kiss! _

_What? _Abby was starting to fuss.

_It's tradition, _the nurse continued. _A__ny two people who meet under __it __are obliged to kiss_

Luka watched the whole conversation without reading too much into it. It would've been awkward, anyway. More than awkward. But then again, they did kiss…well…they did more than kiss but that was a long time ago. Now, they hardly ever touched eachother. He didn't say anything, instead he gave the nurse a long look and started towards the elevator.

_Oh, honey, if you're not gonna kiss him, I will!_

_It's stupid!_ Abby was determined. She turned around and followed Luka. The doors closed, as he was looking down, sheepishly and she was giving the nurse a "you're dead" look.

The quiet and awkwardness was almost palpable. She was playing with her hair while her eyes were suck on the numbers that indicate the floor level. Then she glanced at her watch. 11:58. She turned her head to face the opposite direction, so that she couldn't see him, not even with the corner of her eye.

A few seconds later, she turner around and let out a sigh, almost startled by his lips resting on her cheek. He backed off a bit and watched her reaction. Her mouth was half open and her look was inviting him. He slowly bit his lip and, still looking into her eyes, he leant over and kissed her whole heartedly.

Her hand was on his face as she suddenly felt her legs becoming useless. They lost themselves in a moment, so passionate and tender…so right. And they were in their own little world, as they didn't even notice that the elevator's doors were now open and everyone at the "party- wannabe" was staring at them.

_Somebody is having a very Merry Christmas! _Chuni broke the silence.

They were just standing there, her hands on his face, his head tilted softly to reach her better, eyes wide opened, looking at their colleagues, the people they see everyday, their friends. She pulled back, tried to say something but words were something she felt she lost and wasn't capable to find again. She played with a strand of her hair, constantly brushing it between her fingers. He was as still as wood glancing back and forth between Abby and "the E.R. gang".

Frank was holding a plate with a half eaten piece of cake, unable to take another bite; the nurses were whispering to eachother, covering their mouths as they started laughing softly; Susan was in the middle, arms crossed, rolling her eyes and deciding she was just going to ignore this.


	3. And Dust to Dust

**Chapter 3 ****And**** dust to dust**

_Find Me Here_

_Speak __To__ Me_

_I__ want to feel you_

_I need to hear you_

_You are the light_

_That's leading me_

_To the place where I find peace again_

* * *

She was standing on the roof, closing her eyes with every smoke she took from her cigarette. She was wearing her coat, but it was still chilly. She wrapped her arms around herself and pulled the hood over her head.

"I though you quit! "Luka came in behind her, holding the small bag the fake Santa had with him.

"One more week", she replied as she took another smoke.

"Huh?"

"It's part of my New Year's resolutions. To quit smoking. "She didn't turn to face him. Instead, she kept gazing at the sky, the stars, the city lights while small snowflakes were surrounding them.

"Oh, so I guess it wasn't quite a decision before."

"It was. I just never promised myself I'd get a clean start on January 1st. "She was lost in her own thoughts.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

"What's that?" Abby looked at the bag Luka was holding.

"Um…I did a follow up on our broken hearted Santa. He died half an hour ago."

"I guess he didn't get his miracle then", she sighed.

"What?"

"Doesn't matter. What are you doing with it?"

"Umm…I don't know…it's all that's left of him. Thought maybe we missed something…."

"Like what? Dancer and Prancer? Maybe even Rudolph?" she smiled softly.

"Listen, I…",he started, "in the elevator…"

"Maybe Frosty the Snowman? "she continued her joke, trying to ignore his last few words.

And he got the point. She didn't want to talk about it and honestly, he didn't quite know what to say. And talking wasn't one of their best features.

_You are the __strength, that__ keeps me walking._

_You are the __hope, that__ keeps me trusting._

_You are the light to my soul._

_You are my purpose...you're everything._

He continued watching her, biting his lips as they stood in the winter wind that was gathering snowflakes on their shoulders. Their faces were lit by street lamps that seemed so far away.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" She decided to break the silence when it became unbearable.

"I thought you might need some company", he chimed.

"I meant what are you doing **here, **at the hospital?" She faced him this time, lighting another cigarette.

He swallowed hard; somehow he knew that she discovered his little lie." I think people need me here," he finally gave in with a sad smile." And isn't this time of year about helping those who need your help?"

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

She knew something was wrong. When he left, after his shift was over, he was happy and excited. More happy than she ever saw him. She thought that in the end, if you want something badly enough, you'll finally get it. Luka wanted them and he was with them now. He got what he wanted, what he'd been waiting for all those years.

* * *

_Abby, he doesn't need to know._

_She was really pregnant. Between all those lies, there was a fragment of truth. Nicole was pregnant. __**Was.**____She might've giving him a chance to be happy again, a chance to be able to hold his own…His? Maybe it wasn't his after all. Who knows where she'd been. It was better this way. A made up life wasn't going to make him feel whole again. It wouldn't be right. Still, this time it felt like her words killed another child he could've lost himself into. It might had not even matter if indeed he was the biological father. He would've been a father, no matter what genetics might've said. __

* * *

_

But here he was, trapped in a made up life, with another blonde that needed to be rescued.

"I thought it was about being selfish, since we pretty much do that everyday", Abby said with a sarcastic tone, while raising her eyebrows.

Another long pause.

"What are **you** doing here? "

"I'm…smoking my cigarette during my break…"

"No, I meant…why aren't you downstairs…at the party…? It looked like fun". He smiled and slowly touched her arm.

"Why aren't **you **there_?"_

"Oh, I see. You're answering my questions with a question. Nice."

_You calm the storms, and you give me rest._

_You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall._

_You steal my heart, and you take my breath away._

_Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?_

After a while, she couldn't contain herself anymore. She started laughing." We're pathetic, aren't we?"

They were both laughing now.

"No…",he started moving closer to her, noticing she was shivering. He wrapper his arms around her, stroking her shoulders from behind. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting it rest on his chest. "Maybe just a bit doleful."

"Dejected?" she continued in an amused tone.

"Dreary? "

_"_How about we try another letter?"

The were standing still, laughing and teasing each other and it felt like this was something they did everyday. He was holding her with his chin rested on the top of her head while she was letting him hold her, not bothered at all. They didn't even seem to remember that this was supposed to be awkward, that they haven't had a real connection in a very long time, that their paths were different. Still, it felt like the most natural thing to do, neither of them suppressing words or gestures, fearing what the other might think.

* * *

_I miss you, Abby. I've made mistakes…A lot…A lot of mistakes…_

_Don't make another one!_

_His only mistake was that he took her for granted. He should have said it some other time because now, it felt more like he was trying to ruin the little happiness she'd convinced herself she had achieved. The timing was always bad…_

* * *

"How did we get here?" he asked, with a serious look on his face.

"Well…I though the elevator wasn't that safe anymore so I took the stairs!"

They started laughing again.

He softly kissed the top of her head. "Are you happy?"

"I like my life so far. I finally got what I've always wanted. I think."

"I'm glad". He took a deep breath then continued. "Do you think anyone will miss him?"

She turned her heard to catch a glimpse of him, frowning. "Who?"

"The …Santa… Claus…guy…",he said while pointing to the bag.

"Everybody has…somebody...eventually…I guess…and…he didn't look that lost to me. Too bad he didn't get his miracle."

Luka smiled. "What? You said that before."

"Umm…he thought that his heart condition would go away if he could make some kind of a miracle happen before Christmas."

He looked at his watch. "Well…it's almost 1:00 A.M.. I guess it's Christmas Day already."

She looked down for a second then turned around to face him. "Merry Christmas!"

"Our first Christmas together", he joked as he brushed her shoulder with his arm.

He slowly took her hand in his, squeezed it gently. Grabbed her fingers and started walking away, stretching his arm so he could still hold hers.

"I'm going inside, I still have some stuff to do. You coming?"

She took a deep breath." Not yet. Haven't had enough nicotine today. I'm just gonna smoke one more then I'll be right there."

They let go of their hands.

She smiled and opened the pack of cigarettes again.

He nodded." Oh…ok. But you're quitting on January 1st, right?"

He turned around, heading for the elevator.

"Luka?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope everything turns out OK with you and Sam."

" He smiled. Merry Christmas, Abby_!"_

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_

_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

She took another cigarette out and watched it catching fire. She spotted an old chair in one corner, brushed off the snow and sat. She let out a soft chuckle when she saw the brown bag with the Santa suit.

Somehow, now it felt odd going through that guy's personal stuff. She didn't want to anymore. Maybe after the holidays, the police are going to be able to locate some relatives. And what would they tell them? That he died because there were too many bad things happening on Christmas Eve? That too many people who didn't deserve it got presents that were meant to be for the ones that did? That nothing good came out of that night, that it was all wasted? Too many wrongs and too many broken hearts? That even if things seemed better, on the right track, something bad turned everything around? It just wasn't fair.

She smiled. By next year, she was going to make a miracle happen.

_Cause you're all I want,_

_ You're all I need_

_You're everything, everything_

_You're all I want your all I need_

_You're everything, everything._

_You're all I want you're all I need._

_You're everything, everything_

_You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything._

**Author's Note: **The lyrics from this chapter are from a song by **Lifehouse – "Everything**" which I truly think fits the roof scene, the mood and all.


End file.
